There are a lot of things I like about Ken.  One of the best things about our relationship is that we both love ideas.  Of course, anything in extreme can be our downfall — and we tend to go on and on sometimes, but I love thinking about creativity and throwing parties.  Just for fun, I mentally plan what food I would serve, themes and colors, even music playlist.  Ken is always game with any crazy idea we can think of.

So here is the start of my “party inspiration” for a small get together in August for fun and a late birthday celebration for Ken. 

• Fast food fun - burger baked goods
• Big dessert table
• Wiimbledon

Let the games begin!

It goes without saying that my parents are awesome.  Really, even if they weren’t my parents — I’d still like them as people.  In particular, they are on my mind because Ken and I are headed to Vermont at the end of the week.  It is strange to discuss Father’s Day without pointing out that we are headed home to celebrate my Grandfather’s life at his memorial service.  My heart warms up just at the thought of him. 

However, today is a day for fathers and mine is the cream of the crop.  So here it is, in no particular order, three great things I have learned from my father (it is a challenge to boil all his love and wisdom down to just three pieces, but I’ll try!):

1. Go big, or go home.  It’s a mantra Ken and I tease about now, since we start out having a small idea that very quickly escalates into a giant project — see Halloween Ghoul.  One of the best things about my dad is that whenever I have an idea — he is always open and excited.  Very rarely (if ever) has he said — that’s impossible, or maybe I shouldn’t try to do so much, or that dream is too big.  Quite the contrary, so many of his ideas about running a successful business (60 years and counting) and as a community leader resonate from a true authentic place of enthusiasm and passion.  He’s not afraid of a challenge, and his support makes me feel bold.
2. Mind Over Matter.  I never really got this part of my dad’s philosophy as a kid.  Something bad would happen at school or at work and my dad would always ask, what is good about this?  Sometimes I want to scream, “Dad don’t you get it — this is a mess!  Everything is terrible!” But with loving perseverence he kept saying — what can we learn here? How can we change our own mindset?  Jump forward, about 15 years and I’m studying Buddhism and Eastern Religion.  One of the primary pillars of eastern thought is — the only thing you can change is your own mind.  Second, whatever you expect to happen in a situation, will! So always work to be open, gracious, and optimisitic — and good things will come.  My dad works to find the best in any situation.  It’s a gift he has, and has shared with my sister and I.
3. It should be fun.  At first, this may sound silly — some might even say wasteful.  What good is fun?  Well, besides just the obvious answer, that life is a journey and it might as well be fun!!! Over and over in management books and productivity blogs one primary lesson (see A Whole New Mind or Meeting on the Right Side of the Brain) is that joy makes you work harder, remained focused, and achieve more than any threat or fear could do.  My father studied recreation in college and his need to laugh and play is one of the best things about him.  Don’t believe me? You can’t help but be joyful in his presence sometimes, and his playful disposition makes everyone around him feel brave and happy — what better leadership is there than that?

On this day of celebrating dads, I could go on and on, about all the gifts he’s taught me.  This is a good start! Happy Father’s Day to my Dad! I’ve learned so much from you.  I love you!

I love self-help.  I love productivity.  I love the fantasy of setting goals and achieving them, building a rich vision life, and getting everything I want in a beautiful Tiffany-style blue box.. ..

But here is are the two key points I’m learning:

1. The answers to the “why’s” of any problem only come after action — never before.  You can only know that it is a good decision to take the job, after you have been working there for a while.  You only know if you can climb that mountain after you’ve trained for a few months.  Although we all hope that a strong distinctive answer to the “why” of any problem would motivate us into taking action that’s just not the way it works.  I remember hearing Oprah’s trainer Bob Greene, when talking about getting fit, say that people wait for some big motivation to start exercising and losing weight — but when you start any new habit, at first you just do it because it’s the RIGHT thing to do, and then after you begin to lose weight you become motivated to continue.  But what does this really mean?  When you confront a challenge, you may not feel ultimately inspired to achieve the goal at the start.  Most likely, when you decide to quit smoking — you won’t completely WANT to quit, and you’ll be unsure if you can really change the habit.  It’s only after making it through the first day or two, that you begin to pick up some momentum.  We all want some big karmic sign, and to race out the door with the wind in our hair to blaze through a new challenge — but so often that isn’t the case.  We just try.  We just do our best, set expectations low, and have a compassionate connection to ourselves that gets us back on the horse when we fall.  The answers to the WHY only comes after you take action, and sometimes, it never comes at all — so just do something.  Anything.

1. When confronting any challenge — the “WHY” does not change the “HOW”.  Ken and I have been talking about this a lot and trying to catch each other when we start to invite the other to our pity party.   Does it really matter why you are in the position you are in now?  Or why things didn’t work the way you wanted it to?  All that matters is the HOW do you move forward to get what you want.  Even if I was able to learn “why” I’m having trouble getting a job — the economy?  bad resume?  over-qualified? not qualified enough? It doesn’t change the ultimate question — What do I need to do to get a job?  How do I move forward to get what I want for my life?  The problem is, the actions you need to take and the “how” of moving forward is usually the easy part.  In fact, if you take an issue you are working with in your own life — I bet you already know what you need to do to move forward closer to your goal, don’t you?  I do.  But it is so much more delicious to dwell in the “why’s” of the world — then you can talk destiny, then you can discuss all the possible outcomes, and most importantly — you can stay where you are not risk anything.  Even better, you become a victim in it all — its not your fault that you didn’t meet your goal!!! So many, why’s, so little time.  But you know the truth — being a victim sucks! You feel bad, powerless, pitiful — and even worse — you still aren’t achieving your goals.  So enough with all the reasons that I don’t get what I want.  The only question to ask is HOW.  How do I move forward to achieve my goals?  What do you I need to do to get there? 
   

wish me luck.

• Stonewall 40:
  Creating some amazing events this summer in Seattle to celebrate the
  40th Anniversary of Stonewall and the launch of the gay rights
  movement.
• Pecha Kucha:
  I gotta write more about Pecha, I’m loving it right now and hope to get
  even more involved in their monthly events.  Creativity is King!
• SaveTogether:
  During a difficult time in our economy, it is really rewarding to work
  with an organization that actually helps low income families build
  their financial life and achieve their dreams.
• GlobalMojo:
  More to come after the launch.  Browse the net with purpose and support
  organizations and issues you care about. Nothing is more fun than
  combining two things I love - philanthropy and wasting time online.

Everyone knows that I have a past in public service and volunteerism.  I’m really passionate about it, and I believe finding an issue/cause/group that you are passionate about and giving your time will change you from the inside out.  But all that said, my recent volunteering endeavors were not entirely charity.

I say that because although Ken and I were volunteering for good causes, I had an agenda of what I would like to get out of the experience.  Sometimes this works, sometimes — not so much, so be careful with your own expectation when you offer to help out with an event or organization.  However, a good sense of why you are there and what you would like from it can be helpful in focusing your energy when there are “so many ways to help.”

When Ken and I returned from our musical vacation this year, we made an agreement to have more music in our lives.  He’s been picking up the guitar everyday, and I’ve been responsible for finding shows to see.  I love watching live music, but lets just say, my finances have not made spending $30-50 per ticket possible.

So, I signed up for a few ways to volunteer with two bands I like — Vienna Teng and the Indigo Girls — and when they came to town we saw the shows for free.  Working with Vienna Teng, her manager sent me a bunch of postcards that Ken and I dropped off all over the city.  We spent a morning walking our neighborhood, and then as I went into coffee shops or bookstores, I would drop some by the door or on the bulletin board.

With the Indigo Girls show, they were partnering with Rock for the Remedy, an organization that partners musicians and local food banks.  Concertgoers bring canned food to shows and they get entered in a raffle to win cool stuff.  We volunteered by sitting at the Remedy table and then watched the second half of the show for free.

So here are my suggestions for how to get involved to have a little fun (and maybe make a difference in the process):

1. Enlist Yourself.  If there is a group whose work you admire, or a cause that seems interesting sign up for their newsletter or their weekly alerts.  Most groups make asks for help or assistance with their work all the time.  So keep your eye out and stay in the loop for opportunities and future events.
2. Look for the Freebie.  There is a great exhibit at a local museum that I want to see (Muppets at the EMP), but regular admission is $15 per adult (too much for me). So, I did a little research and found that between 5-8pm on the first Thursday of each month, guest admission is free.  So Ken and I put it on our schedule as a June 4, Thursday night date.  Art Galleries, Park Concerts, Farmer’s Markets – all free, all fun.  Do a little online research to find deals near you.
3. Persistence and Patience.  I signed up to help out Vienna Teng in February, got her weekly alerts, but couldn’t find a way to help until April.  I emailed Rock for the Remedy three times before someone contacted me.  All this is to say that good groups and causes are often overwhelmed and not always streamlined about their response time – so be patient.  Don’t expect because you haven’t heard back in a day or two that they are uninterested, but just as important, don’t hesitate to drop them an additional note in another week.  I know, they should be grateful to have your skills and talents offered to them (and they are), but usually there is a small staff and a lot of priorities so a friendly welcoming reminder is a great way to stay fresh in people’s mind. 
4. If you build it, they will come.  It never hurts if you see an opportunity to suggest a way you can help.  Is the organization having a fundraiser – maybe you could help out on the night of the event?  Help them, help you — by telling them how they can use your skills.  Does your favorite band have a fan blog – maybe you could write a post and/or start a discussion group?  There are limitless ways to help and become involved.   If you don’t get a response (or you don’t get the response you would like), build your own opportunity.  Creativity Welcome.

  A comic book hero that is.  Oh yeah, I just read on five blogs before lunch (a kickin blog by the way) that Tim Gunn will be in the new Marvel Comic Model’s Inc.  I believe Tim will have the ultimate new superpower — a keen eye for fashion.  I’m lovin it.  Yeah Tim!

It is a not shock to anyone who reads this blog that I love dancing.  This fascination forces me to watch any show that has dancing in it, no matter how bad the show is — for example, Dancing With The Stars, but I am happy that my favorite So You Think You Can Dance is starting up again tonight.  These are real dancers, with real talent, and a relatively small amount of those silly “get to know you” fake action segments.  If you’ve missed it in the past, now is your chance to enjoy some beautiful movement.  Warm up the Tivo. 

how lucky am I to have personal IT support that fixes your blog and then takes you to dinner.  so lucky. so blessed. thanks Ken!

we made it to our 400th post!

I saw this hysterical post on one of my favorite blogs — The Chief Happiness Officer this morning.  Denmark is has been labeled the Happiest Nation On Earth. Then Alex, asked Google if it had an opinion:

Then he asked Google how it felt about Americans:

Aaahh, I love the internet!