I love self-help.  I love productivity.  I love the fantasy of setting goals and achieving them, building a rich vision life, and getting everything I want in a beautiful Tiffany-style blue box.. ..

But here is are the two key points I’m learning:

1. The answers to the “why’s” of any problem only come after action — never before.  You can only know that it is a good decision to take the job, after you have been working there for a while.  You only know if you can climb that mountain after you’ve trained for a few months.  Although we all hope that a strong distinctive answer to the “why” of any problem would motivate us into taking action that’s just not the way it works.  I remember hearing Oprah’s trainer Bob Greene, when talking about getting fit, say that people wait for some big motivation to start exercising and losing weight — but when you start any new habit, at first you just do it because it’s the RIGHT thing to do, and then after you begin to lose weight you become motivated to continue.  But what does this really mean?  When you confront a challenge, you may not feel ultimately inspired to achieve the goal at the start.  Most likely, when you decide to quit smoking — you won’t completely WANT to quit, and you’ll be unsure if you can really change the habit.  It’s only after making it through the first day or two, that you begin to pick up some momentum.  We all want some big karmic sign, and to race out the door with the wind in our hair to blaze through a new challenge — but so often that isn’t the case.  We just try.  We just do our best, set expectations low, and have a compassionate connection to ourselves that gets us back on the horse when we fall.  The answers to the WHY only comes after you take action, and sometimes, it never comes at all — so just do something.  Anything.

1. When confronting any challenge — the “WHY” does not change the “HOW”.  Ken and I have been talking about this a lot and trying to catch each other when we start to invite the other to our pity party.   Does it really matter why you are in the position you are in now?  Or why things didn’t work the way you wanted it to?  All that matters is the HOW do you move forward to get what you want.  Even if I was able to learn “why” I’m having trouble getting a job — the economy?  bad resume?  over-qualified? not qualified enough? It doesn’t change the ultimate question — What do I need to do to get a job?  How do I move forward to get what I want for my life?  The problem is, the actions you need to take and the “how” of moving forward is usually the easy part.  In fact, if you take an issue you are working with in your own life — I bet you already know what you need to do to move forward closer to your goal, don’t you?  I do.  But it is so much more delicious to dwell in the “why’s” of the world — then you can talk destiny, then you can discuss all the possible outcomes, and most importantly — you can stay where you are not risk anything.  Even better, you become a victim in it all — its not your fault that you didn’t meet your goal!!! So many, why’s, so little time.  But you know the truth — being a victim sucks! You feel bad, powerless, pitiful — and even worse — you still aren’t achieving your goals.  So enough with all the reasons that I don’t get what I want.  The only question to ask is HOW.  How do I move forward to achieve my goals?  What do you I need to do to get there? 
   

wish me luck.